Jokes From the Cave

Turner Brown

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.  The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor. 

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.  The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"  In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.  I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus,  I thought you said, 'Turn around'"!

Giovanni and Virginia

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.

Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep?"

Luigi said, "Everyting wasa perfecto except for da train ride down."

"Whata you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.

"Well, we boarda da train at Grana Central Station.  My beautiful Virginia, she pack a biga basket a food. She broughta da vino, some nice cigars for me, and we were lookina forward to da trip.

Everyting wasa Okey Dokey till we getta hungry and open upa da luncha basket. The conductore comea by, waga his finger at us anda say, 'no eat indisa car. Musta use a dining car.'

"So, me and my beautiful Virginia, we go to a dining car, eat a biga lunch and starta ta open da bottle of a nice a vino! Conductore walka by again, waga his finger and say, 'No drinka in disa car! Musta use a cluba car.'

"So, we go to cluba car. While a drinkina da vino, I starta to lighta my biga cigar. The conductore, he waga his fi! nger aga in and say, 'No a smokina disa car. Musta go to a smokina car.'  "We go to a smokina car and I smoke a my biga cigar.

Then my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to a sleeper car anda go to bed. We just about to go boombada boombada and the conductore, he walka through da hall shouting ata da top of his a voice...'Nofolka Virginia! .... Nofolka Virginia!'

"Nexta time, I'ma just gonna taka da bus!!"

The Wong Baby Problem

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wong's have a new baby. The nurse brings to them a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely Caucasian, white baby boy!

"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?"

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two Wongs don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong."