Jokes From the Cave

Jewish Mothers

A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three womean and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for awhile. He then says, "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The Jewish mother replies, "I don't like her."

Jewish Poker

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up.

Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna' tell the wife?"

They draw straws. Goldberg picks the short one. They tell him to be caring and gentle ... don't make a bad situation any worse."Caring? I'm the most caring mensch you will ever meet. Gentle is my middle name, leave it to me."

Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment, knocks on the door. The wife answers and asks what he wants. Goldberg declares, "Your husband just lost $500 playing poker, and is afraid to come home." The wife says, "Tell him to drop dead!"

"I'll go tell him," says Goldberg.